sSCENE + HEARD
16 Signs You Were a CIO in 2016
2016 was an... interesting year to say the least. The last 12 months brought two
shocking political contests (Note to self:
Never trust another poll), a revolving door
of people moves (Goodbye, Stephen Blyth;
Hello, Narv Narvekar), and more interest
rate-themed ‘hot takes’ than anyone could
possibly care to read (Central banks: Get
your sh*t together). And regardless of your
fund type, strategy, or size, you were more
than likely stuck with the unenviable job of
reporting sub-par returns for the fiscal year
period—or even worse, a loss.
Sound familiar? Keep reading.
1. The annual summer barbecue was
fueled by coal and economics textbooks.
Negative real rates are impossible, they
said. Nobody would ever pay to borrow
overpriced bonds from an eye-wateringly
indebted government, they said. Invisible
hand, my a**.
2. …And yet you were still inundated
with backtested data. Seriously, fund
managers? We’re up to our necks in quantitative easing (QE) and the European Union
is about to collapse, thanks to British voters.
And yet you’re testing your strategy with
1990s data. Why? Back then a smartphone
was a desktop landline NOT covered in
apple stickers. Let’s all just admit we’re in
uncharted waters here.
3. You definitely weren’t upset about not
making the Power 100 this year.
Seriously, it’s no big deal. Despite getting
friendly with the new management at CIO…
And the emails you sent… And the Scotch
you had delivered… As for those of you who
did make it, yes, we know: We should have
given you an extra point or two for innovation—you and 99 others.